“Everyone is your teacher”, says Systema Master Mikhail Ryabko, “and those who want to beat you up are the best teachers of all”.
Aggressive and resistant adversaries present an honest challenge, it’s true. But deal with them poorly, and you’ll learn nothing at all from working with them. Except, perhaps, how to struggle, fight, and feel sorry for yourself.
Many maintain that the struggle itself is valuable. That “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. That’s also true. To a point. But what doesn’t kill you might also leave you injured, vengeful, depressed, or - in extreme cases - haunted by PTSD.
Facing challenges is valuable. Struggling to understand your own fears, weaknesses and limitations, more valuable still. But the constant struggle to “fight” people or situations that “stress you out” will get you nowhere. At best, this struggle-based approach is running to stand still. At worst, it’s back-sliding and creating aggressive/defensive behaviors that will catch up with you in the end.
Maybe it’s the defensive comment to your boss, which leaves you ostracized or unemployed.
Maybe it’s the fight you pick over a stolen parking space, which leaves you jailed or crippled for life. Or maybe it’s the heart disease that arises later - after years of “battling” stress in daily life.
The good news is, you don’t have to struggle. At least not with things outside of yourself. Instead, you can learn to deal with challenging people and situations decisively, without the destructive element of aggression.
But learn and practice, you must. Old habits die hard. And aggression is one of the oldest habits of all…
These universal principles for dealing with aggression are common to most of the subtler, “internal” martial arts - such as Aikido, Ba Gua and T'ai Chi Ch’uan. In Systema, they are practically ubiquitous. Here, I’ve added breathing recommendations in keeping with the methods of neurological control we employ in Systema.Study them. Practice them. Make them a conscious habit, and watch your daily struggles diminish - often with startling rapidity. Or at the very least, find yourself a little less exhausted each day.
Do not be intimidated
If your opponent is larger, stronger, more powerful than you - don’t worry about it.
The truth is, size and power do matter. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either misguided, or selling something. Larger, stronger opponents present challenges all their own. But unless you can grow bigger or more powerful right this instant, there’s really nothing you can do about this. So stop fretting about it, and get on with the task at hand. Remain wary, but do not let fear - or the anger that follows it - cloud the interaction further.
Be present
From the outset of the conflict - pause, exhale, and ask yourself where your attention is right now. If you’re fixated on what your opponent just did, or trying to anticipate what they might do next, then knock it off. Inhale, exhale, let it all go, and return your attention to the present moment. This is where the interaction is happening. This is the only moment that matters.
Remain relaxed
Excessive physical tension will multiply your sense of fear and anger, kill your awareness and creativity, and make your responses clumsy and slow. So get rid of it now. As you inhale, feel which areas of your body are over-pressurized, too tight, or too dense. On the exhale, breathe into those areas, and redistribute the tension throughout your frame, until you feel nothing but the pressure of your feet against the floor (or if sitting, your bum against the seat). Pay particular attention to the neck, shoulders and hips - areas that tighten up instinctively during perceived conflicts, due to reflexive flinching (or “turtling”) actions.
Remain balanced
Unbalanced breathing and posture give rise to unbalanced emotions. The body affects the mind every bit as much as the mind affects the body. So straighten up, stand comfortably, and even out your breathing. If you don’t know how to do this, then try breathing in for 2 seconds, then holding for 2, breathing out for 2, and holding on the exhale for 2. (This type of “square breathing” to regulate your pulse rate blood pressure is a hallmark of Systema breath work - the best way to master it is in regular group or private classes). Once your body and breathing are evened out, your emotions will soon follow suit.
Do not regard the other person / situation as the enemy
In martial arts training (as opposed to combat or competition), your partner is never truly your enemy. Unless the two of you have some sordid backstory of intrigue, betrayal and revenge - in which case I suggest one or both of you trains elsewhere - then they are simply helping you to learn, with the generous loan of their body. So remain human, remember they are human, too, and think in terms of mutual benefit. How can you relax your partner, deflate his/her aggression, bring an end to the conflict decisively and efficiently?
In fact, even if someone is attacking you in earnest, you should still think this way. There is simply no downside to this approach. Maybe you deflate them with abrupt strikes instead of soft verbal or physical “steering”. But the principle is the same. Consider them a faceless “enemy” to be hated and feared, and your hate and fear will blind you to their real intentions and needs. Consider them human, and you have a far better chance of seeing their true intentions, strengths, weaknesses…and can then act accordingly.
Do not become defensive
This goes hand-in-hand with the above. Reacting defensively may help shield you from the initial attack. But it will do nothing to bring an end to the conflict. If your defensive reactions are driven by fear, that fear will simply grow as you continue to struggle. Once the fear reaches a certain threshold, one of two things will happen: a) you will freeze, lose confidence, and fold beneath the weight of the continued attack, or b) your fear will manifest as rage, and you will lash out aggressively in an effort to stop further attacks, and/or punish your opponent for starting the conflict. While instinctive - and in many ways perfectly natural - neither of these reactions will serve you well in the long run.
Make a habit of “folding up” in response to aggressive behaviour, and you’ll become weak, insecure, and an obvious target for bullies. Make a habit of lashing out, and you’ll find yourself constantly at war - starting fights or escalating conflicts wherever you go.
I’m betting you know at least one person who behaves this way. You know the ones. Drama seems to surround them at all times. They find themselves besieged by aggressive people on a daily basis, through no apparent fault of their own. Some guy had a problem with them in the car park. Some colleague had a problem with them at work. Their best friend of yesterday has a problem with them today.
Sooner or later, you start to see the pattern forming, even if they don’t. At any given time, someone always seems to have a problem with them. You begin to ask yourself: whose problem is it, really? The answer is simple. The problem is theirs alone. And the problem is unnecessarily defensive behavior, driven by fear, and maintained by their lack of self-awareness.
So do not be defensive. It is the path to suffering and conflict. What other path, then, should you take?
Go with the flow
This is a phrase so over-used in martial arts that it has become something of a cliché. Judo, Jujitsu, Aikido, T'ai Chi, Systema…all employ this principle, to varying degrees. In training, partners practice yielding to pushes, following pulls, blending with forces and pressures.
But all too often, when attacked with aggression - in free sparring drills, or in competitive bouts - these principles are quickly lost, and the combatants revert to blocking, sprawling, struggling, trying to hold their position, trying to dominate.
And so it is in real life, with real conflicts. People often talk a big game about meditation, mindfulness, checking their ego, and being “chilled out” in their dealings with people. And as long as everyone treats them nicely, their apparent nirvana is maintained.
But when threatened or faced with aggression, they freeze or lash out like everybody else. In some cases, with more vigor, and less control - furious, perhaps, that their delicate peace-state was disturbed.
To “go with the flow” is not simply to yield to mounting pressures. Nor is it to be swept along by the course of events. Rather, it is being aware enough to see the true nature of the conflict, free enough to follow its shifting path and pressures, and yet stable enough to hold your ground if you need to.
Going with the flow can eventually become an unconscious defensive reflex. We see this in the highest levels of martial arts practice, across many of the styles already mentioned. Witness Jigoro Kano (Judo), Morihei Ueshiba (Aikido), Marcelo Garcia (BJJ), and Vladimir Vasiliev (Systema). But first, it must be a proactive choice. There is no shortcut to this. You have to decide to live this principle every day, in all your doings. Only then will it begin to feel like a natural response. And even then, you will find yourself struggling and failing often, as I do.
Sometimes, it can be hard to see your own progress in this. But in truth, this work is its own reward. Little by little, you realize that life seems like less of a struggle. That this year seemed easier, happier than the last. That the people who surround you don’t seem to have the same problems any more. That those who try to fight you are actually teaching you - about themselves, about yourself, and about the universe.
And for this, you should be grateful.
Staying on track
A couple of months ago, I had the great pleasure of attending the Systema Unbound seminar in Charlotte, North Carolina - a three-day event led by Vladimir and Konstantin, and generously hosted by Mark Jakabcsin of Palmetto State Systema.
Out of nine of us from the two NC Systema groups I had some idea of what to expect. Over the last five years, I have been lucky enough to train extensively with Vladimir and with Konstantin - at seminars across the USA, during extnded visits to RMA HQ in Toronto, and at several week-long summits and immersion camps. But for most of my students, this was their first time working with the masters.
They had heard the stories. They had watched the YouTube clips. They had spent months or years generously putting up with my interpretations of their teachings. Now they were keen to see the “real deal”, to train hard, and to bring back a solid chunk of Systema for themselves.
The event was, naturally, fantastic. The instruction was phenomenal, the training mindful and honest, and the atmosphere serious, yet joyful. This particular seminar had such an effect on me - and on my students - that I felt it warranted something more than a simple review.
I recognize that my understanding of Systema is still extremely limited, and others have written more eloquently on the subject of learning and teaching Systema. Regardless, I wanted to share my recent experience in the hope that it would help others find their way - or rather, stay on track - on what can sometimes be a confusing and difficult path.
I have been training martial arts, now, for about 25 years. Longer than some, but far less than others. In any case, I learned a long time ago that training a martial art - at least one with any depth and complexity - is much like crossing a vast mountain range. After a long, uphill struggle, we’re often rewarded with a feeling of achievement and pride, having crested some small peak of skill or understanding.
But then - sooner or later - we pause, look up, and see the real mountains that lie beyond, and realize that we’re really only in the foothills. To some, this is very discouraging. They stare ahead, see how far they still have to go, or how much work is left to do, and they decide that it’s simply not worth it.
Others, though, are more determined. They refuse to feel sorry for themselves. They take a breath, gather themselves, and press onward. Unfortunately, moving on to the next peak often involves crossing a valley first. For a time, you must go downhill before you can begin to ascend, so it takes a while to return to your previous level, let alone climb higher. Then finally, you arrive at some higher peak of skill or understanding...and see yet another peak in the distance beyond.
Training any martial art, then, is a rewarding yet difficult path. This, I believe, is doubly so in the case of Systema, for two main reasons:
1) There are very few signs and markers on the peaks to show how far you have come, or how far you have left to go. Many other martial arts offer the hope of mastery (and perhaps an end to the struggle) in the form of a black belt or an instructor’s certification. Along the way, there are often colored or numbered signposts to tell the student how many peaks have been passed, and how many remain ahead. So if the student becomes discouraged, there are crutches to help him or her along. “Just two more peaks”, they can say, “and I’ll be there.” Not so in Systema, in which the path to self-mastery never really ends, and the signs of progress are less explicit.
2) In Systema, the path through the mountains seems to shift and evolve over time. You start climbing one peak, only to realize that a better (perhaps more direct) path lies on another. In other styles, you are encouraged to follow the precise path that a master took before you. In Systema, that same path may no longer be the most direct or useful, and you are encouraged, to an extent, to find your own way through.
And therein lies the problem for many students, and instructors, of Systema.
How do we stay motivated to keep moving forward in the absence of crutches, signposts, or even a final destination? And how do we find our own paths without following someone up the wrong peak, straying too far “off track”, or getting lost in the wilderness of possibilities?
Students and instructors may try to resolve these problems in various ways. Some students may try to map as many peaks as possible, following numerous paths to understanding in the hope that they will eventually add up to a useful, coherent whole. Others may simply pick a master to follow, and follow his trail through the mountains as far as it will go.
Indeed, some instructors may insist that there is one, solid path through the mountains - perhaps mapping it out for their students and providing signposts in the form of a training syllabus. Presumably, the reasoning behind this is that “even if this is not the path, it’s a path. It got me there, and it’ll get you there.” Wherever “there” happens to be...
For my part, I have tried various approaches over the years. As a student, I have tried to follow in the footsteps of those who have shown genuine skill and understanding, while remaining open to the possibility that my own, true path may lie elsewhere. As an instructor, I have encouraged my students to do the same. I have never professed to know the way through the mountains, trying only to suggest useful peaks I have found, and perhaps steer my students away from valleys and pitfalls I blundered into ahead of them.
This, of course, is where my story returns to Charlotte, and to the direction and advice provided by Vladimir and Konstantin over those three short days.
From day one, it was clear that the aim of the seminar was not to demonstrate movements and techniques, nor even to bestow any great chunk of Systema “knowledge” in relation to wrestling, striking, working with weapons, or whatever. The aim was to give us a compass for our own training - a basis for moving forward with purpose, no matter what the physical or psychological terrain.
In no uncertain terms, Konstantin pointed out that without the proper purpose and direction, it was quite possible to train for many years and get nowhere - akin to wandering the low peaks forever. He constantly challenged us to think about why we were doing each drill, and what we were actually working on in the process.
All too often, he pointed out, the work can devolve into competitions of physical skill or strength, even when you know you should be aiming at something more. Why? The answer will almost always be fear, along with the various forms of anger or excitement that it can bring. It’s not enough just to turn up and do the drills. If you don’t know what you are working on and why, he counseled, you are destined to remain on the same plateau indefinitely.
Many times over the last couple of years, I have heard Vladimir say (to me and others) - “it’s good, but it is not good”, or “it’s good, but it is not our style”. In Charlotte, it was great to hear Vladimir and Konstantin explain and justify these assertions more fully, with a view to keeping everyone on the right path.
It is impossible, they explained, to build effective work upon a weak foundation, so fundamental practices like crawling, rolling, bodywork and breathwork are essential if you want to avoid being trapped by your own fear and tension.
Larger, wavy motions that were once common in Systema have evolved over time, to be replaced by movements that are more concise, subtle and direct.
To constantly yield with the body is to be constantly on the defensive - an inefficient (and impractical) approach to working with an aggressive attacker.
All this and more, we learned over the course of one weekend.
My students returned from Charlotte stronger, calmer and with renewed motivation in their training. They are different in their work, now - both structurally and psychologically - and this is helping to bring the level up in both of the groups I teach here in North Carolina.
With every visit to Toronto, and every seminar with Vladimir and Konstantin, I have received an invaluable course-correction in my own training. It was truly wonderful to see my students getting the same thing from this three-day seminar. Better yet, through the training, they were all given a compass of their own, so that they could start to find their own paths through the wilderness.
For now, we’re enjoying the path - exploring all the classic drills with a new viewpoint on the work. But we’re already making plans to attend Vladimir’s next east-coast seminar.
After all, while the path is ours to take, we could all use a little help staying on track